I’m in the Bit-ness of Misery

(Image courtesy of JasmoColors as part of an art trade.)

You know what is absolutely never tiring? Hearing about someone’s struggle.

Not because misery loves company, but because people need a constant reminder that no one is born with success. We aren’t born with a 10 million follower instagram account or 150K Facebook likes. (Although with people making accounts for their babies…that could change in 15 years.) The best part of hearing about the struggle is hearing about the victory.

Are you also stuck in self-deprecation mode?

Here’s a thought that occurred to me while watching Twitch streams: how is it fair that the universe grants such talented artists such great looks as well? Can you share a little, friend??

I say this somewhat facetiously. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. It would also be wise to remember that some people actually prepare for their streams by putting makeup on and doing their hair.

Or they’re men.

No, but seriously, the thought only popped up while I was having a self deprecating moment. It’s funny how quickly people can spin something so arbitrary into a cataclysmic event. “Oh, she’s got a dimple! I must be such a troll!” “Oh, she can sketch a curved line quicker than me! I must be stupid!” “Oh, he can write faster than me! Why should I even bother!”

The funnier thing is that I haven’t really felt that way this week. I think this lifestyle adjustment is working out pretty nicely! Asleep by 10pm, blue light blocking glasses, cooking meals (grain free life hype!), morning walks, reading before bed. I feel so accomplished before the day has even begun!

I’ve had to reschedule my streams because of this and I think I figured out a way that works. Looks like I’m a weekend streamer now. It’s going to take serious adjustment, but I feel good about exploring another avenue (hopefully) leading towards a lucrative writing career. See you tonight at 8pmEDT for Wine & Write!

(Okay, the wine isn’t necessarily complimentary to the healthier lifestyle, but a lady has gotta have her chill time!)

Thoughts from the Winner’s Circle

I feel like “We Are the Champions” should be playing before I walk through every door. That’s how good I feel at the close of July and the finish line of Camp NaNoWriMo. I knew I wasn’t going to hit 50k words, but what I didn’t know was that I would accomplish so many other things.

We’re Not Even Done and I’ve Already Won!

It’s not looking good for my Camp NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words, BUT I had a huge writing victory this month.

I completed TWO stories!

Two stories that were once thoughts in my head–small as they may be–are completed ideas that can be shared with others. 5,000 words in a new world! When was the last time I did that?

According to Fiction Press, that was 2015.

Victory. I put words on a page. Isn’t that what this writing business is all about?

This is what failure looks like. Don’t be shy!

Welcome to the halfway mark of Camp NaNoWriMo 2017!

Here is what I’ve learned:

Having a plan is great! I spent the last two weeks of June piecing together a story outline for a project I was excited about. Young Brenna would be thrilled to know that older Brenna had these glorious plans to bring her thoughts out from under the covers.

I borrowed an online spreadsheet so I could track my word count. It’s extremely detailed which is great, if a little overwhelming. Using the spreadsheet, I was able to determine how far ahead I wanted to be before our week long vacation so I could stay on track despite the break.

I made a Twitch channel. I told people my plan to write and they were so welcoming of the idea and so kind. I felt like I was building up a community before I even said hello for the first time. People followed me and encouraged me to do what it is that we all love to do. People were willing to help hold me accountable.

Here is what else I learned:

You won’t always stick to the plan.

…But Can’t I Just Quit While I’m Ahead?

Happy Friday! It is the last Friday of June 2017 which is insane to consider. For one thing, how did half of 2017 vanish into the time stream? Secondly, why did I allow myself so little time to prepare for Camp NaNoWriMo?

(Third, I can’t believe I have money left over after rent!)

If you aren’t familiar with NaNoWriMo, it is National Novel Writing Month. Generally taking place in November, NaNo sets writers around the globe to the task of writing 50,000 words of a story in the month of November. Other events, such as Camp NaNoWriMo, take place in other months during the year.

I’ve never completed NaNo. I had hoped each attempt would be THE attempt to get my fingers flying over the keyboard and reinvigorate my love affair with writing. It simply never happened. There was always an excuse.

How Do You Motivate Yourself After Years of Hiatus from Writing?

Watching Blainearcade on Twitch has become my favorite part of my morning. It might be affecting my work because I’m trying to be interactive with chat, but I think I’m reacquainting with my work day priorities now.

Blaine has been reading one of his novella series written as updates to a crowd funding website to fund a team of superheroes. It’s unique and he obviously has had an amazing time writing it and now reading it aloud for his viewers. Check out Justice Backers for yourself. Be prepared for something wildly unique that may or may not be your cup of tea.

In chat, I somehow got the thought to look back at my own completed works from Fiction Press. Fun fact, June 23, 2017 is the ten year anniversary of my first Fiction Press account! I thought, “Wouldn’t a dramatic reading of my old terrible fiction be fun?” 

If You Suffer from a Short Fuse, Ask Yourself…

Disappointment is a nuisance. It’s a tiny itch in your guts or in your heart that says, “That thing you attempted just failed.” But a nuisance, by definition, is not a big deal.

Merriam-Webster.com

Nuisance: (n) one that is annoying, unpleasant, or obnoxious.

Imagine that nuisance occurring time and time again until that little itch digs so deeply under your skin and muscle, straight to the bone, that it becomes a solid ache.

I feel like that degree of severity occurs quickly for me. There is a fuse hovering over a flame that sits on the tip of my tongue, and when a minor inconvenience is thrown at me, I start with a single huff that lights the fuse only centimeters long. It could be from losing a board game. It could be when one particular co-worker ever opens his stupid mouth in the same room as me. It could be the out of body experience as I watch my anxiety reach new, towering heights reducing me to a quivering lump.

This time it was an 11th hour cancellation of a highly anticipated event.

Writing Rendezvous

How many times have you seen an old friend–from elementary school, or college, or a past job–and you smiled. You promised to call them some time. You swore you’d find them on Facebook as soon as you found a wi-fi signal. In that face-to-face moment, you felt good. An odd sense of euphoria mixed with nostalgia and novelty swept over you. In that moment, you were absolutely going to reach out to that old friend.

Then the moment passed. You didn’t mean to be cruel or hateful. The euphoria diminished. The nostalgia dulled to any other memory. The novelty was gone. You continued your day with the person in mind, but without the energy to lift your hand and dial the number or search the surely too mundane name for Facebook to track. And with upgraded privacy settings on top of that? Forget it!

That has been my relationship with writing.